20 October 2006

My dreams are scattered yesterday. Bits and pieces here and there.

I remember 1 scenario:
A fren and I was in a shopping mall No idea what, but I remember we were in Giant store.
We were looking for something...but end up, didnt buy anything.
We went to eat lunch after that. 5 minutes into the conversation while having lunch, I realised I have dropped my mobile phone in Giant store (In real, my mobile phone is part of me. Without the phone, I will be restless.).
I never stood up and walk back to giant to find it. I was telling my friend that we should go look for it after we are done lunch.

Somehow, the "action" slipped off my mind. We happily drove back to where we were suppose to go. Halfway, I shouted "Oh no! My phone!"
I insisted my friend to drive us back to Giant.
but instead, he drove back to my house to build a table. I thought he was building the table to find my mobile phone?
I let him hammer and saw for awhile. His brother(I think) came join and helped. His brother asked him his purpose of making the table. He stopped. And looked at me.
and then it hit me. I said"actually, we dont need this table to find my phone right?Moreover, it maybe too big to fit in the car"
He then put down his hammer and nails, and sigh. I said to his brother while folding up the unfinished table "Well, this is the unfinished project 1! Hahaha! " His brother just smiled.
We drove off again..

but I never seee ourselves stepping into the mall..

The dream continues to another scenary about my bf and I. Both of us had a big arguement 2 nights ago. It was so big that he wanted to break with me. But I hold on. From that night onwards, we are now sleeping in seperate rooms. He told me the night he was angry, that he no longer treat me as his gf, and I should not be treating him as his bf. And I should move out instantly the next day (yesterday). Yesterday, he didnt shove me out. He was cold to me. Later in the night, he treated me better. We cleaned the whole house together and it was the closest moment I have ever felt with him that time. But, it stopped. He didnt ask me to move back to the same room, didnt say anything. I was hoping he will, ask me...but he didnt. I think this is what triggers the dream:

Bf and I are so happy together. Bf hugged me and I felt so loved. Bf and I were so happy in my dream. He gave me the loving look and hugged me well.. I felt so warm.

I hope this dream will come true. But what I felt was at the edge of the relationship, at the moment..

I am actually feeling unhappy right now. I dont know if he still wants me. Or he just want me to be around to work(I am working with him in his company).

I am already thinking of wanting to fly away to another country, and avoid all this.. start anew..

I think...I am getting sick...

*cry*